Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Hate my life

Seriously i got no idea what to do now.

I lock myself up and cut contact with my BFF! I'm not angry with them at all i just don't know what to say whenever i meet them. There is a distance between us i got no idea how am i going to fix this they are perfect to me they know me since secondary school and we had been friends for like 10 years to 11 years, how come things turn out this way when i start to stay away from them..

I change job from accountant to administrative, I TOTALLY DYING SOON!!!

I never know how stressed i can be right now, everything i know for admin work return back to the teacher i know nuts now and whatever i learn become rusty as i never use it often during accountant job!

The job i did last time is more like A and B then repeat, even like this i did learn a lot from the people who taught me. Before i resign from that company i could give them a full details of things i did and pass down even though i miss out some while typing the details in excel sheets ( i key all the details while i got job on hand ) . Its not easy to typing all details that each company needs i took few hours doing it i got to edit if there is mistake and print  out the copies for the next person that take over my job.

Am i happy over there? The answer is HAPPY & SAD !
I do have problems there all because of some people, then my mood become very unstable i could be happy at one moment angry at the other moment MOOD SWING all the way. The staff there did say things behind my back and my lady boss also can't take it,  I have been giving them problem during that time all because of ONE FUCKER! Partly its my fault if i never say those things out it won't end up that way.

Thinking back now when i first took over the job i only have about 12 company needs list on hand and the rest of the company needs i have to ask while doing it. This is not easy as i had been making mistake as well during that times i need to learn others things over there too.

Till the days before i leave the company, I could give them about 20 company needs listed and to my surprise i actually remember a lot of things i learn over the past one year working at there.

I had a wonderful lady boss, fun colleague ! But still i choose to leave the company choose to leave the accountant position and go take the administrative position challenge.

Now i feel very stressed, did i choose the job scope wrongly this time ? Being a insurance agency admin how hard can it be? Still doing paper work , replied email , answer called only different is you will encounter different clients and things ! How stressed can it be? I should feel stress less here  but sorry NO I DON'T!

Working over here is very lively i encounter many different things. Sometime i can go Malaysia or even i can go home at the earliest time 3 - 4 Pm when many people still at work.. I should be happy about it right I DO FEEL HAPPY AND I FEEL UNHAPPY too why ?

I have a hard time weeks ago, i keep on get scolding non stop and also mistake all over the work! I don't know what happen to me!! Side effect for taking slimming coffee? Maybe!!

I tender my resignation letter yesterday but then the letter was return back to me. I was given another chance to get used to the work, and if i really couldn't do it or another option comes in i can leave.

But still i will learn all over again, according to my manager I am able to handle the job she passed down to me all i need to do is take down notes ( the lazy me never do it of course and i think that my memories is perfect) and i could get the job down perfectly!

I giving myself the stressed that when my manger is running in the race, I'm walking/crawling slowly behind and she have to turn back and look out for me. It's very tiring, I put myself in her shoes i know how tired it is but she never give up on me she teach me again and again pointing out all the bad attitude , bad points in my entire working life.

On the other hand, I had been sending resume to apply new job I don't know how long i stay on to work over here. I really wish i can fulfill the promise i had with someone get the things done like how my was done this promise can it be fulfill by me or not is still a question mark now.


If i could choose all over again, this will never happen and i make sure that i asked for more option before making choices..

My feeling is numb all i feel is WTF HAVE I DONE!!!!!!!! I really hate myself why am i so stupid!

You will be laughing at me upon reading, yes my life is like a joke due to all the stupid choice i made!!

Laugh as much as you like cause when this happen to you others will laugh about it too.

I won't laugh at all cause I'm facing the problem now and if someone meets the same problem i will listen to theirs and tell them how i overcome in the end!!

JUST !!!!!!!